Yesterday the Yankees made one of the most nauseating signings in all of sports by signing Roger "The Rocket" Clemens to a ridiculous contract of 28 million over the next seven months. Widely considered the most storied sports franchises and class organizations in sports even by such Yankee haters as myself, the Yankees threw away 100 years worth of that reputation by signing this selfish prick.
I am sure many people will think I am just spewing because of sour grapes, but I assure you I am not. While it is true I have a tremendous disdain for Clemens I have always respected what he did on the field up until a few years ago when he started this mid season signing crap. As Yankee fans like my buddy K. Rove celebrate this pathetic signing of desperation and welcome back Roger "No road trips" Clemens let me just remind you of a little history of this guy.
First he started off playing for your deeply hated Red Sox and actually was the face of Boston and it's inability to win a championship prior to 2005. Ooh, you were so close Roger in 1986, but being the weasel that you are you asked out of game six and allowed Bob Stanley of Kearny, NJ to come in and blow the game for you. Next while playing for the Toronto Blue Jays I heard Yankee fans call him every name in the book as he plucked perennial plate hugger Derek Jeter. With screams of hatred and outrage they slammed Clemens and everything he stood for. People cursed him, his children, mother and anyone who has ever known him.
Fast forward a couple of years a pathetic Clemens still without a ring makes a desperate move and signs with an already well established team to mooch a ring off his old ex-rivals. Hey, whatever it takes Rog! This is not the worst part of the story though, the worst part of it are the Yankee fans now welcome him with open arms. With quotes like, "Rog is the best!" and "Boy, Clemens knows how to work the inside part of the plate." outsiders we left bewildered and shaking their heads. The best part is that with your newly beloved boy making his way through what was supposed to be his final season the Yankees and their fans celebrate his entire career with presentations, gifts and standing o's. What does the selfish prick do you ask? He shoves up the Yankees ass by signing with Houston the next year to be with resident butt buddy Andy Pettitte. Pathetic!
Pathetic I say unless you compare it with the way the Yankees announced the signing the signing yesterday. Hard to believe such a storied franchise like to the Yankees would create a circus in the middle of the game and have Clemens announce he will be back with them during the seventh inning stretch. Little Andy looked like he just got asked to the prom by the starting quarterback. Hell, they should have made Clemens and steroid laced body and enormous head fly from in from center field and land on that guys stupid glove like the eagle usually does. Why not make it a real party?
Be proud Yankee fans, be proud!
