Yesterday the Yankees made one of the most nauseating signings in all of sports by signing Roger "The Rocket" Clemens to a ridiculous contract of 28 million over the next seven months. Widely considered the most storied sports franchises and class organizations in sports even by such Yankee haters as myself, the Yankees threw away 100 years worth of that reputation by signing this selfish prick.
I am sure many people will think I am just spewing because of sour grapes, but I assure you I am not. While it is true I have a tremendous disdain for Clemens I have always respected what he did on the field up until a few years ago when he started this mid season signing crap. As Yankee fans like my buddy K. Rove celebrate this pathetic signing of desperation and welcome back Roger "No road trips" Clemens let me just remind you of a little history of this guy.
First he started off playing for your deeply hated Red Sox and actually was the face of Boston and it's inability to win a championship prior to 2005. Ooh, you were so close Roger in 1986, but being the weasel that you are you asked out of game six and allowed Bob Stanley of Kearny, NJ to come in and blow the game for you. Next while playing for the Toronto Blue Jays I heard Yankee fans call him every name in the book as he plucked perennial plate hugger Derek Jeter. With screams of hatred and outrage they slammed Clemens and everything he stood for. People cursed him, his children, mother and anyone who has ever known him.
Fast forward a couple of years a pathetic Clemens still without a ring makes a desperate move and signs with an already well established team to mooch a ring off his old ex-rivals. Hey, whatever it takes Rog! This is not the worst part of the story though, the worst part of it are the Yankee fans now welcome him with open arms. With quotes like, "Rog is the best!" and "Boy, Clemens knows how to work the inside part of the plate." outsiders we left bewildered and shaking their heads. The best part is that with your newly beloved boy making his way through what was supposed to be his final season the Yankees and their fans celebrate his entire career with presentations, gifts and standing o's. What does the selfish prick do you ask? He shoves up the Yankees ass by signing with Houston the next year to be with resident butt buddy Andy Pettitte. Pathetic!
Pathetic I say unless you compare it with the way the Yankees announced the signing the signing yesterday. Hard to believe such a storied franchise like to the Yankees would create a circus in the middle of the game and have Clemens announce he will be back with them during the seventh inning stretch. Little Andy looked like he just got asked to the prom by the starting quarterback. Hell, they should have made Clemens and steroid laced body and enormous head fly from in from center field and land on that guys stupid glove like the eagle usually does. Why not make it a real party?
Be proud Yankee fans, be proud!
6 comments:
You forgot the best part of the whole Clemens saga. When Don Corleone Torre told his best assassin to take out Mike "glass knees" Piazza during the 2000 Series.
With his wacky bat throwing episode, Clemens was able to effectively pysche Piazza out, and subsequently broke the Met's spirit. The Red Sox did the same thing to the Yankees in "O4" with the whole Varitek/A-Rod thing.
Clemens is a hired gun, ala Jimmie "key to the Pennent," David "I never liked the Mets" Cone and David "drunken perfect game" Wells. The difference is that Clemens is fearless and I can't wait till he throws one at Big Papi's fat disgusting head
Forget the Eagle, you know what would have been a better entrance. Clemens riding in from center field in a golden roman chariot pulled by Mr. Met and the headless corpse of Ted Williams!!!
Holy Shit Moe -- you want some cheese with that whine?
You know as well as I do that baseball is business, especially in New York. You can talk about Clemens with the Sox and Jays all you want but the fact is he is a hired gun -- and the best ever hired gun in baseball history. Our hatred of Clemens stopped that day in 1999 when he put on pinstripes. He gave us five great seasons and two world championships, and in New York that's what counts.
Gone are the days that players spend their whole careers with the same team and you know that. If it weren't the case, the Oakland A's would be winning championship after championship because of their home grown pitching.
Baseball is business and the Yankees are good at business.
So you can sit there rooting for the team with the SECOND highest payroll in baseball wearing your Tom Glavin jersey and take shots at the Yankees for signing Clemens (oh the irony). The fact is this signing is the result of hard work by Cashman and the boys to "do whatever it takes" to win another World Series. Our starting staff is in shambles and we have an owner that is willing to step up and provide the team with the personnel it needs to win a championship. Say what you want about the bad qualities of Mr. Steinbrenner, he is the best owner in baseball and his determination to win cannot be questioned.
And as for the way it was announced, yesterday's statement form the owner's box to the crowd at Yankee Stadium couldn’t have been done better. The best part of it was, if you look closely in the back of the owner's box there was one person -- Brian Cashman -- the guy who orchestrated this deal, sitting back and watching history unfold. I love the Yankees for many reasons, and one of them being that they are determined to make the moves to make this team a contender every year.
The same could be said about your underachieving and aged New York Metropolitans. They spend almost the same amount of money and have the same "win now" philosophy -- only with out the World Series rings to go along with it.
Tom Glavin is a Brave.
Willie Randolph is a Yankee.
Paul Lo Duca is a Dodger.
Pedro is from Boston.
Delgado and Beltran are mercenaries.
And Moe Green writes this missive about how the Yankees shouldn’t be proud of signing Clemens? Envy doesn’t become you Mr. Green!
I still don't like Glavine. BTW Cashman is a sub par GM who would be fired if he worked anywhere else. Pavano, Jared Wright, Irabu, Weaver how many mistakes can he get away with? As for hardwork I will give you 28 mil and no road trips, boy that Cashman is tough as nails. The Yankee fans are the ones who talk about being superior, but on this one you guys sold your soul. I am not upset that the Yankees got him, i just think it's ridiculous anyone even entertains him, plus Pedro is from Montreal. It must really pull the team together when a guy can't be bothered traveling with his team, b/c he feels it's a waste of time. Call me a purist, but I feel baseball needs to step him and make a point you are either on the team or your not. A player shouldn't be able to tell an organization when he will play and when he won't.
Great work.
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