Freakshows, Bigfoot and Bush!

Do you remember when you were a little kid and got to go to your first carnival and fair? Here in North Jersey the big fair was and still is the New Jersey State Fair at the Meadowlands. I will always remember being blown away by the rides and all the craziness that went with being there. I will also always remember how pissed off I was the first time I paid money to go into one of the freak shows to see a girl with two heads or the infamous snake lady. While visions of freaks and the like filled my young mind I was greeted with bitter disappointment as the tent was filled with nothing but black and white grainy photographs and bad plastic dolls in glass cases.

Fast forward a couple of years I am promised proof of Bigfoot that will change the course of history. As the show dragged on for an hour with coming attractions looking better and better with the proof just around the corner. Again by the end of the hour I was greeted with nothing but disappointment and anger as there never was any proof but just a shitty picture of a guy that looks like he just stepped off the set of Harry and the Hendersons!

Where the hell am I going with this, you may ask? I will tell you where I am going with, as I people get older and hopefully a little wiser we tend to fall for less and less scams. Sure, I still go the same shitty fair, but there is no way the creepy felon working the sideshow tent is getting any of my hard earned money these days. However lately I have been experiencing that same bad feeling when we have been promised celebrity nudity and have been greeted with nothing but bitter disappointment. First there was the Paris Hilton sex tape, which turned out to be just a complete disaster from start to finish highlighted by Paris in night vision lighting babbling along.

Next was the Britney Spears pantyless pictures. Once you got past the c-section scar and Sunny Crocket scruff you were left with something that might resemble what someone might eat if they were on the Atkins diet and ordered a ham sandwich from a bodega in the South Bronx.

Now comes the latest disappointment, who is none other than Vanessa Minillo who is famous for being Nick Lachey's girlfriend and I am not sure quite what else. Anyway, while I would have to admit right from the start that i think she is definitely a step down from Jessica Simpson I still thought she was pretty hot until the latest pictures of her came out. Apparently while vacationing in Hawaii, Vanessa and Nick decided to get a little frisky in a hot cub and as usual a member of the paparazzi was there to catch it all on film. While floating around online I just happen to stumble across these pics and check them out as any good red-blooded American male would do. Lo and behold what to find in these pics, one of the biggest bushes you will find this side of 1973! It looks like she is walking around with a toupee glued to her nether regions. Those of you interested can check out the photos here! While they appear to be censored on the first page, if you click on the thumbnails they will pop up uncensored. Again a another complete disappointment. I feel it my responsibility to take all my donations from Team Continuum "Like the cheap plug, huh?" and donate it to Vanessa for a good ol' fashioned waxing. I must say what a step down for Mr. Lachey. Well that's it for now, until the next disappointment! Keep your pants, because you never know who's watching!